I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
