you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
