question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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