I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
