if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Im part way to drunk.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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