So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
