what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
