yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
