I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
