im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just gargled with NyQuil
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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