Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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