ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Fuck appropriateness.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
