Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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