I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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