I'm going to jail i love you
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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