either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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