That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
