I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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