It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
