Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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