8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
