You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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