three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
