Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
did i walk over a car last night?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize