You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
