omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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