You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
