Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
