a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
