I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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