We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
