I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
