I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
