i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
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I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
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How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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