I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
