no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
PANTIES FOUND
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
