It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
