Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
