I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
