Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
