Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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