Kiss
Puke
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
