just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
