So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
