Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
