Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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