it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
someone owes me an orgasm
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
