dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
