Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she pinky promised me she was 18
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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