I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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