yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Even my vagina gasped.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
