My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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