I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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