your thong is hanging out like whoa
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
