I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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