And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
FUCK WHALES
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
