i think my tv is drunk
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
